Now paramore is one of of my all time favourite bands. One which I have shared the same room with. And by room I mean concert hall. I have been to see them several times and really enjoyed it. But this time. This time I realised I wouldn't be able to share that experience. As much as I really wanted to go see this band play, I have realised that it is just impossible at this moment in time. The thought of being at a concert now is just scary. Being in a place with that many people at one point in time will most definitely send my brain into a mad panic. I know it will just cause my brain into a mental meltdown.
I do not want to put myself in a situation like that. It just wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to me. But it also wouldn't be fair to the people who I go with. Because if I had anxiety they would probably miss the best parts of the concert due to having to look after me. Either that or they just wouldn't be bothered and I would be left even more alone and scared than I was before.
I just really don't want to be that person. The person who looks back on their life. On that time and think about all the things I could have been doing. Could have been enjoying but couldn't because I was so go dam trapped in my mental illnesses.
Although I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason and this is supposed to be part of your life to be able to learn and move on with life having learnt hard lessons. I just don't want to waste my time. Waste the time I have on this earth.
Because life is truly a gift and it goes by so quickly. One minute your a child having fun and not having a care in the world. The next minute you're an adult worrying about bills and how you look.
I do not want to put myself in a situation like that. It just wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to me. But it also wouldn't be fair to the people who I go with. Because if I had anxiety they would probably miss the best parts of the concert due to having to look after me. Either that or they just wouldn't be bothered and I would be left even more alone and scared than I was before.
I just really don't want to be that person. The person who looks back on their life. On that time and think about all the things I could have been doing. Could have been enjoying but couldn't because I was so go dam trapped in my mental illnesses.
Although I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason and this is supposed to be part of your life to be able to learn and move on with life having learnt hard lessons. I just don't want to waste my time. Waste the time I have on this earth.
Because life is truly a gift and it goes by so quickly. One minute your a child having fun and not having a care in the world. The next minute you're an adult worrying about bills and how you look.
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