A lot has happened part 2

I actually managed to leave the house. 
I left the house and enjoyed myself. Which is a huge surprise.
At first I was nervous but then everything fell into place like it had so many years ago. I had previously bumped into an old school friend when I was on a weekly shopping trip with my Grandad. Which is the only time I ever go out. I had spoken about having a catch up as he understands what I am going through and is in a similar situation in regards to friends. Meaning we don't really have any at all. We used to be close in high-school but naturally as life goes on and people go off and do their own thing and without even realising it you drift apart from them. In school he also went through a tough time. So it is great having someone who can relate to my current situation. But his has always and will always be something that will stick with me. Which one of those reasons is because of the bullying. It wasn't so much by the old kids but by the younger ones. They're the ones who can be far cruller than anyone else because they don't think. They don't think or understand the impact of their words and actions can have on other people. I remember that day clear as anything. I remember sitting in science after lunch. I looked out the window which overlooked the grass area where we would sit and have our lunch on days where the weather was nice. I saw him laying face down on the grass area with his blazer covering his face and head. I didn't understand what was going on at first. All I remember was a teacher going and getting him and them both walking back into school together. It looked like he had been crying but i didn't know why. But that night after school no-one could have predicted. He went home that sad and depressed he took an overdose of sleeping tablets. He took them and wrote a note to his mum and curled up on the sofa next to her. I can't remember how I heard about what had happened. But I do remember going to visit him in the hospital. Going into that ward not having any idea about mental health. We went into his room and I don't remember us asking any questions we just acted as if nothing had changed in order to cheer him up. We sat on his hospital bed and started messing around with it seeing how high up it was able to go. It was so nice to see him laugh. I just wish that back then I knew something about mental health. I wish that we would have been able to spot what was going on. But what I am even more grateful for is that he is still here now and happier than he was back then. I really do believe that schools should teach people about having a healthy mind. They always go on about physical health but never say anything about your mental health which is just as important.   

After talking to him that day I didn't expect it to be so soon that we would be having a catch up. When I went round to his house there was another school friend there how I had not seen or heard of since we parted ways at school. But she too has been battling her demons. It was nice to be amongst like minded people. People who knew who you felt and what to say.. It was nice to be able to cracks jokes about it too, sometimes if you don't laugh about it you'll just cry. They both said a very good and heartfelt thing which was something along the lines of  "we are all going through similar things and it makes sense for us to stick together. Be each others back bones to be able to support each other".  When you have mental health problems it is easy for people who don't have them to forget about it. It isn't a case of depressed one minute happy the next, it doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that for ANY mental illness. It is an ongoing thing that can not be controlled no matter how hard we try to push it away and suppress it. When I was with them both it felt like I could be myself. I didn't have to hide anything or worry about judgement. I haven't enjoyed myself that much in a long time. All we did was talk, play cards against humanity and Jack-box. Just something something simple. This is something that we plan to do regularly now. 

They made me realise it isn't all bad. We can get through this together. We can be each other back bones. Each other support networks. I think having people in your support network who have been or are going through similar things really helps as they understand.